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Kindergarten — Why It's Amazing yet Incredibly Weird

My childhood was nothing like this!

By Nathan MillerPublished 6 years ago 6 min read
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Poster for the incredibly popular game, Kindergarten.

How was your childhood? Did you play house with a classmate? Did you get bullied by the big kid? How about hanging out with the weird kid, did you do that? Oh, did you also try to solve the missing person's case of the brother of one of your classmates while avoiding being murdered by the other classmates, the janitor or the principal? Let's hope the last one was a no, otherwise, my sympathies for having to deal with that. Today, I will be talking about a game from this year that is so strange, you can't help but enjoy playing it and wanting more and more. That game is Kindergarten, a game created by SmashGames and Con Man Games where you try and help your classmates and go through their stories while living in an endless series of Mondays going to class. Also, a quick note, there may be spoilers if you want to play the game so... beware of spoilers. Also, this game is very graphic, so, reading this is not for the faint of heart.

It's just like getting a time machine and re-visiting your past from when you went to Kindergarten. But that's only if your Kindergarten experience was full of murder and chicken nuggets. This game is a very odd time to go through, but it is worth it after going through all the stories of your classmates and collecting MonsterMon cards. That's right, they had MonsterMon cards, only because the Pokemon name is protected by copyright. Oops, I just said it. Eh, I'll be OK. Even after getting shot by the principal, falling into a cave, getting stabbed by the janitor and even watching my fellow classmates die multiple times in order to help continue stories, this game is so addicting and fun to play.

Now, let's get to the characters in the game. There's your teacher, Ms. Applegate, who was well endowed with a large case of... "teaching qualities." She clearly doesn't really care too much about her students, even up to the point of making you "take care of" your classmates for gold stars. She is a type of teacher that nobody really should have. Then, there's Jerome, the self-proclaimed "cool kid" who acts arrogant and loves yo-yos and laser pointers. He is the principal's kid which makes him believe he can do whatever he wants just because who is father is. There's always people like this which makes getting rid of him in the game all the more sweeter. As for the Principal, Jerome's dad, who Jerome steals hall passes from by the way, the Principal basically doesn't like people getting in his way and I see him as the overall main antagonist of the game, but that's due to the ending of Lily's story that I'll explain later.

Next up, Cindy, the evil little girl who I think could rival the Principal as antagonist. This is the girl that is clearly a female bully who picks on poor sweet Lily all because Lily's brother, Billy dumped her. If you date her, she'll make you put gum in Lily's hair, make you put a breathalyzer in your mouth while playing house, and even pour blood all over Lily. Cindy is the type of kid who is absolutely nuts, heck, even the class weirdo, Nugget, is more sane than her. Especially when Cindy decapitates the janitor and bites at his head during show and tell all because the janitor killed her dog. I mean, he's crazy too and shouldn't of killed her dog, but, did she really have to bite at his now decapitated head? Like I said, this game is weird. This is not your average Kindergarten class clearly, especially with her.

Next, Monty. Not much to say about him except he sells you stuff. Lily, her brother Billy goes missing. So, when you do her story, you help her, only to find out Billy is in a pod under the Principal's office (that's why he's the main antagonist). Of course, you save Billy and the Principal gets eaten by an alien he had in a different pod. There's also Buggs, the bully. He bullies you if you carry more than three dollars and he bullies Nugget. Of course it's due to the fact that his dad left him. But, he also hates the teacher which leads to his story where you kill Ms. Applegate. Then there's the Janitor, the psycho who sells mysterious balls of what ends up being pieces of Cindy's dog. Stay on his good side or he'll kill you with a mop. That's pretty much him.

There's also the lunch lady who wants glasses and the cigarette smoking hall monitor but there's not much to them except for the fact that they help in some stories but not too much. Then there's my favorite, the weird kid. You all had that one kid, eats glue or in this case hoards nuggets for his Nugget cave. That's right, I'm talking about Nugget.

Nugget

The famous Nugget.

Nugget is my favorite character and it's because he's the weirdo. He poisons the bully, blows up the principal's statue, and if you don't become friends with him, throws you into his giant hole in the sandbox where you fall to your death. But the best bet for most stories is for you to be friends with him. He's very funny to be around in the game and if you're friends, you'll throw a ton of nuggets into the Nugget cave to break your fall. That way you get to see his mighty cave of chicken nuggety goodness and dirt. And Cindy's dog's skull as well as a memorial to Billy, who Nugget doesn't know is still alive. Now, you're probably wondering, can chicken nuggets make you survive a giant fall into a hole that leads to the Nugget cave? Well, watch this video, and you'll learn, no it won't. But this is a game so it's OK. Please note all rights of this video go to Theorist Media, that being the company of Game Theory creator Matthew Patrick and his wife, Stephanie.

Back to Nugget; he is a fascinating character. He doesn't seem that smart but I think he is smarter than he is given credit for. He was able to make his own cave under the sandbox and he was able to poison nuggets and come up with elaborate plans. I believe he is smart but playing dumb which makes him very interesting. And he's a good friend to you, he even witnesses the end with you after collecting all MonsterMon cards and putting them all in the cave. It leads to an apocalypse killing everyone but you and him. He then announces Kindergarten 2, which I hope is real because this game was so fun that I really want to play a sequel.

Overall, this is an amazing game. It's not your typical child game but rather a murder mystery thriller type of game that takes place in Kindergarten. I love this game a lot and I hope that the sequel actually is made. I thank you for reading this and hope that this article has encouraged you to play Kindergarten because I know you would enjoy it a lot.

adventure games
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About the Creator

Nathan Miller

My name is Nathan Miller and I am a fan of writing in all forms from screenwriting to writing short stories to nonfiction pieces about the things that I love. I hope you enjoy reading my pieces as much as I enjoyed writing them.

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