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We live, we love, we lose, and we move forth with our lives. It's an endless dance we will continue with it until our time for our final bow comes near. It's a dance that we've become all to familiar with no matter how painful it goes, no matter how bad we want to stop, and exit the floor. This is something recently I've had to come to terms with as my closest friend, my great grandfather, and the one man I wish I could aspire to be passed on moments after I saw him last.
It's a conglomerate of feelings no one should have to experience. From anger, to hurt, to despair, to being soothed by knowing they no longer suffer. It's a rhythm to a song without lyrics, but is made up of sounds, emotions, and memories that we've come to familiarize ourselves with.
It wasn't until "The Second Dream" patch had launched for Warframe that I heard something that I could listen to endlessly. It wasn't until Tuesday, when my grandfather passed, had I placed my headphones on my head, turned on the song, and lay in bed the moment the news broke. Even now, tears flow, but when they do? I remember his voice, not because I want to, but because the song connects me with him as it was one that seemed to represent his very being.
Over the course of my life, music has played an integral part of it. It has helped me cope with being bi-polar among a few other diagnosis. However, it has helped me also move through my life with ease. Every day becomes a new soundtrack till the metaphorical vinyl stops spinning and leaves the room quiet. For many it's a way to leave a small soundtrack behind for those with us.
For me, the kindness of Grandad wasn't just represented in his tone, but his soul. In many ways, "This Is What You Are" by Digital Extremes for Warframe has represented his very being from the soft violins, to the hymns, and gentleness of the ethereal chorus in the background. It's a song that has helped me move on with my loss and accepting he has passed away. It is a song that allows me to find peace with the new absence my life now has.